Imagine that a young person in your church has just been interviewed about their upcoming gap-year or short-term mission project serving the Lord in Africa. You have followed their journey of faith and you are genuinely excited to see their growth. But you know that there will be some challenges as they launch out into a very different environment. “I’ll pray for you”, you say. And you mean it. You conscientiously add them to your prayer list for Friday mornings. But when Friday morning comes round, how do you pray? Of course, it helps if they are diligent in producing regular prayer info. We all know, however, that even the best of missionaries often struggle to do this well. And no one is going to do it on a weekly basis! So, how do you pray? I think we can find some help for this scenario in the prayers that Paul prayed. In fact, they can help us whenever we are praying for someone that we don’t interact with frequently.
Here are five tips from the prayers of Paul.((For other tips on praying for fellow believers, see my article, Praying for other Believers.))
1. Pray persistently
We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly
mentioning you in our prayers,
1 Thess 1:2
I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers,
Eph 1:16
I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day.
2 Tim 1:3
“Constantly” sounds like an unrealistic goal, but don’t let it put you off. We are unlikely to achieve the “night and day” praying of Paul. The word translated “constantly” means unceasingly. The important point for us to emulate is that Paul prayed persistently. The prayers of Paul were not haphazard. He did not pray only when he happened to remember. He recalled those he prayed for regularly and consistently. This is where it is so helpful to have some kind of prayer diary that reminds us of those we want to pray for on a regular basis.
It’s such a blessing when people remember us! Why not send the person you are praying for a quick text or a one-line email, “Praying for you today”?
2. Pray with thanksgiving
I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers,
Philemon 4
We give thanks to God always for all of you
1 Thess 1:2
Paul taught that giving thanks to God at all times was a fundamental Christian practice (1 Thess 5: 18; Eph 5:20; Phil 4:6) and he really does seem to have lived this out. Nor does he give any impression that he did so out of duty: thanksgiving seems to bubble up from inside. See for example the beginning of his letter to the believers at Philippi. As he thinks of how these believers are living out the gospel, gratitude to God wells up inside him and he overflows with thanksgiving:
I thank my God in all my remembrance of you,
always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy,
Phil 1:3-4
Similarly in the first chapter of 1 Thessalonians, Paul rejoices in the way the new believers received the gospel and have persevered in it despite hardship, changing their lives so radically that word of their transformation has gone out far and wide. He can’t help giving thanks to God.
As we pray for other believers, we too can give thanks. Rightly or wrongly, I find that this comes more easily these days because I am so conscious that as Bible-believing Christians we are swimming against the tide in a culture which is often hostile to our values. I find myself being genuinely grateful to God for fellow believers who engage in the fight for the gospel. In this context, I can identify with Paul when he wrote to the Philippians that he was grateful to God for their “partnership in the gospel”;((Phil 1:5)) joy rises in me as I think of them in this way and thanking God seems like the obvious and natural expression of that joy.
Focus on the good
Some of us glass half empty folk tend to go straight to the problems and pray about those. Worse still, we find ourselves probing for evidence of faults and failings with forensic intensity! We justify this by then focusing our prayers on the areas of weakness we have identified. We probably don’t notice how self-righteous and smug we are feeling as we pray! Oh dear! Let’s focus instead on the good things in the life of the person we are praying for, their faith and love and kindness and enthusiasm and sacrifice. When Paul first wrote to the Corinthian believers, he certainly knew that he was going to have to address some serious issues. But he started by thanking God that his grace was at work among them and that they were “enriched in all speech and knowledge…not lacking in any gift” (1 Cor 1:4-7). Ask God to help you see the good in the person you are praying for, and, as you meditate, you will soon find plenty to give thanks for.
The deeper purpose of thanksgiving
Something deeper is also going on when we give thanks to God. Our thanksgiving is not just the warm up before the main act of our petitions. When we say thank you to God, we are acknowledging that he is at work and giving him glory. In doing so, we are enacting the kingdom of God; we are putting God on his throne. One day every knee will bow to him, and on that day his kingdom will have finally come. But in the meantime, when we say thank you to God from our hearts, a little piece of his kingdom comes to life. If you think I am being fanciful, look at how Paul regards saying thank you to God in these verses from 2 Corinthians.((I am grateful to John Piper for this insight.))
You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.
2 Cor 1:11.
All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is extending to more and more people may overflow in thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
2 Cor 4:15.
For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God.
2 Cor 9:12.
In each case, the giving of thanks is not a by-product, not a pleasant but unintended consequence of the grace of God at work, but the culmination of it. This is an important part of God’s purpose: As his grace plays out in the actions of the Corinthian believers it multiplies thanksgiving to God. The “so that” in the first two examples is important. These words tell us that thanksgiving is much more than a consequence, it is the aim.
So, don’t skip saying thank you! Take joy in it. Revel in the goodness of God in the life of your friend.
3. Pray for heart revelation
The prayers of Paul in his letter to the Ephesians are among his most eloquent and inspiring.
Seeing hope for the future and power for the present
In Eph 1:15-20 he prays that God will open their eyes to enable them to see the glory that will be theirs and the immeasurable greatness of his power that is available to them right now. This prayer has both a future perspective and a present perspective. In both aspects the result is a wonderful present application. Confident hope in God for our eternal future combines with the confidence that God’s power is available here and now to protect and provide and equip. This twin perspective is a wonderful tonic for the soul. But we have to see it in such a way that the truth of it sinks in and impacts the way that we see everything. And we have to keep seeing it when everything around us dulls and clouds our vision; we have to keep seeing it when we are tempted to see only our weakness and the enormity of the challenges we face.
Maintaining this kind of seeing is the work of the Holy Spirit. So, it is wonderful to know that we can help! We can pray Paul’s prayer for our Christian friend, harnessing God’s power on their behalf. In so doing we join in the battle with them, the battle to see and to keep seeing.
Windscreen wiper prayer!
When you drive through the winter storm, you put the windscreen wipers and the demister on so that you can see where you are going. Our prayers can play a role in clearing the windscreen!
In life, however, sometimes the rain and the misting up come on so gradually that we don’t notice that we are struggling to see where we are going. If this happens to our friend, our prayers for them then become doubly valuable.
Grasping how much God loves us
Paul’s prayer in Eph 3:14-19 is also about seeing with the inner eye. This is a very rich passage, so I am just going to focus on v18. Paul prays that his readers “may have strength to comprehend” the infinite vastness of Christ’s love. The NIV has “power…to grasp…” It seems to me that this is very like the prayer for opening of spiritual eyes in chapter one; the difference here is that what he wants them to see is not power but love.
The exultant doxology of vv20-21 brings us back to seeing the power of God that is available to us, with the wonderful added security of knowing that the one who wields this power loves us with a love that is beyond measure. Let’s pray windscreen wiper prayers for our Christian friend! Surrounding unbelief and apathy, their own fears and failures, daily disappointments and let downs—these things beat down on them like torrential rain. It’s not realistic to pray that all these challenges be taken away. We can pray, however, that their vision will not be obscured by them, so that they see clearly the power and the love of God for them.((For further thoughts on the importance of seeing the power and the love of God when we pray, see my article, Vision-fuelled Prayer.))
4. Pray for lasting impact—holiness, maturity and effectiveness
The prayers of Paul may soar to sublime heights, but they remain grounded. He wants believers to have lasting impact on the world so that the gospel will spread through them, and God will be glorified. To this end he prays for holy, effective and mature living for Christ. Let’s take a brief look at each of these three aspects of Paul’s prayers.
1. Prayer for holiness
He prays for the Philippians that their “love may abound more and more” and that they will be “filled with the fruit of righteousness” (Phil 1:9-11). This love and right living will be seen in how they live their lives. Let’s pray for our friend that God will help them to overcome blind spots, bitterness, hardness, self-righteousness, pride…there are so many things that trip us up! Pray that they will continue to grow in holiness.
2. Prayer for maturity
Paul is never content when people believe and begin following Jesus. His job does not end there. He wants to see strong, mature believers who will stay the course, and he works hard to that end. See for example 1 Thessalonians 2 where Paul stresses how he and his team worked night and day to teach the new believers and to encourage, comfort and urge them to live lives worthy of God (1 Thess 2:12). He wants new converts to become mature believers who will be grow in knowledge and discernment, so that they may “approve what is excellent” (Phil 1:9-10). Colossians 1:9-10 is similar. There he prays that the Colossians will be filled “with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding”. And his aim in praying this? His aim in part is that he wants them to come to a place where they are no longer dependent for guidance on other Christians but are able to discern for themselves what God requires of them. He wants them to be mature.
3. Pray for effectiveness
Another part of his reason for praying the Colossians 1:9-10 prayer is so that they will know how to conduct their lives in a manner worthy of the Lord, “bearing fruit in every good work”. I love the prayer in 2 Thess 1:11-12, where Paul prays for the believers that God will, “fulfil every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power”. Paul wants them to be active and for their good works to be effective.
As we pray for our Christian friend, we can follow Paul’s example in praying that they will grow in holiness, in the maturity to discern God’s leading for themselves, and in being effective in the good works God has called them to.
5. Pray a blessing
My final tip from the prayers of Paul is that we can pray a blessing. Surely, we too will receive a blessing as we pray these wonderful words! Here are a couple of examples:
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Rom 15:13
Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, 17comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.
2 Thess 2:16-17.
Conclusion
Many of us have learnt not to say, “I’ll pray for you” too lightly. If we say it, we have to do it! I hope that these five tips from the prayers of Paul will help you and inspire you to pray in a purposeful way. Let’s pray persistently and with thanksgiving. Let’s pray that God will give them deep heart level insight into the power and the love of God—let’s help with our prayers to sweep away all that obscures that vision. And let’s pray a blessing.((If you want to go deeper on the prayers of Paul there is lots of material out there. You could try Praying with Paul: A Call to Spiritual Reformation by D. A. Carson. It’s expensive to buy new, but you can get a used copy from Abe Books very cheaply. It’s also free to listen to if you are signed up to Audible. ))
Much needed help here! Thanks, Ian